It was a moment I will never forget… it was years ago now – my husband’s work Christmas party. I was sitting across from him, a young son on each side of me and our 8-month old daughter wriggling happily on my lap. The story unfolds like a pathetic cliché, and yet, it was my whole world that came crashing down that Summer’s afternoon. In the midst of the chatter and Christmas delicacies, I realised that my husband was in love with another woman.
The fragile pillars of security that held our marriage intact crumbled under the weight of this betrayal.
As you probably know, nothing comes completely out of the blue. The seeds of distrust and the erosion of love had begun many years before. I had played my part… allowing my own fears and resentments to fester, my love was marred by frequent contempt and criticism of my husband. He in turn, became a master at denial and stonewalling. So, our dance of disconnection became more surefooted and the walls of defence around our hearts, higher and more heavily guarded.
Unlike a fairy story, this one doesn’t end with ‘they were married and lived happily ever after’. Rather, with the beauty in our relationship destroyed – we divorced and each of us is now happier with new partners. Yet the pain and cost of our failed relationship is still a reality, felt especially by our 3 children.
I was no stranger to ‘getting help’. Over the 17 years of our marriage I had sought counselling on numerous occasions, in an earnest attempt to rescue our marriage and restore my hope. What I failed to understand was that we needed to see a specialist couples counsellor – together.
Perhaps my story resonates with you?Do you see trust, commitment and affectionwaning in your relationship? If so, I encourage you to reach out to the relationship experts at Seekhelp, who have personally helped me. They have shown me that it is possible to make love last.
(Story told with permission)